What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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