hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
