The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
