Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
