She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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