we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
