Say something about gay babies.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
