Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
