last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
