whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
