i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
