hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
