he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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