lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Be still, my beating vagina.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
