I need help removing her.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize