yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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