She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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