We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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