I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My hand turned me down
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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