Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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