you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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