alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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