pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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