I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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