I don't usually arrange sex via text message
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize