You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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