I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we made out on top of his cat.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
