i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
