What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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