his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
