Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
