Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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