just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
