i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
