arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
