She announced her abortion via fbk
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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