I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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