What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
