u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
