The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
