chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
