Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
