Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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