it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
