covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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