you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
