But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
