it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
someone owes me an orgasm
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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