The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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