I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
