I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
