Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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