Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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