She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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