he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
