Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
