so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
