Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
