That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
