This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Someone came in the potted fern
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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