I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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