thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
