she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
