1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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